Love Is

Posted on 31-01-2019

On 20th May 2017, I met someone.

I had messaged him on a whim, clearly thinking to myself that he was out of my league. A great body, a cleverly-written profile, and quick replies made me prepare myself for the inevitable ‘Sorry, not interested’ message.

But the message never came, and over the course of a few weeks we would chat more often, meet for dinner and drinks, curl up on the couch watching movies from the 50s, and generally have a really great time together.

He was upfront about his short time here, and for that reason wasn’t looking for a relationship. A part of me cracked – here was a perfect gentleman who wasn’t going to be sticking around for very long. I nodded at him in understanding, but a few weeks later I approached the subject again. So what if there’s an expiry date – who cares? We would enjoy the time we had together as much as we could, and when the time came we would gracefully part our ways.

It sounded like an impossible task, but in truth it was just so comfortable that we just went along with everything. No labels, no pressures, no expectations. Just each other and our quaint little world together. We were happy with lazy mornings in bed, take-out sushi on the sofa, or walking through the rainy streets of London. Being with him made me a different person, and I realized just how much I liked it.

As I stand at the airport today and wave him goodbye, I feel no dread, guilt, or sadness. Instead I am filled with the love and generosity of a hundred different memories – of a man who made my life and heart so full that it seemed impossible to let go of him.

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