out in my headstraights by appointment only

1. Talking about what they’re going to do on the weekend – and it’s Monday
2. Forwarding GoNabit Voucher emails to the entire office or photos of their cat / wedding / vacation
3. Asking you a question as they walk by, and then continue walking before you can even answer them
4. Sending you an email and then walk over to ask “Did you get my email?”
5. Using the kitchen area as a place to “catch up” – when they sit two desks away from you
6. Forwarding spam emails – IF YOU DON’T FORWARD THIS ALONG YOUR PENIS WILL FALL OFF!
7. Microwaving food that smells putrid and then eating it at their desk
8. Borrowing a pen and then proceeding to stick it into their mouth during a meeting
9. Having a loud and obnoxious ringtone on their mobile
10. Leaving food in the fridge until it grows fur and/or legs
11. Shouting across the office at someone instead of walking over
12. Randomly breaking into song or humming
13. Stampeding to the kitchen when there’s free food
14. Checking their voicemail on speakerphone
15. Sit at your desk when you’re not around and ADJUSTING THE FUCKING SEAT

Got more? Leave some in the comments!