out in my headstraights by appointment only

There was a murmur recently that there was going to be a ‘Mr. Dubai’ contest – the search for someone “handsome, fit, and smart”. I had to pull out my vibrator to make sure the vibrations weren’t screwing with my brain, but I can tell you now that there was indeed a Mr Dubai contest this past weekend.

Let’s stop the presses for a moment and put things into perspective. Mr Dubai isn’t a new thing – there have been countless local magazines that boast their “TOP 20 BACHELOR” lists each year, and I seriously want to question the eligibility of half of these men (especially when one of my one-night stands appeared on the last one!). When you look at half of these men they either have molasses in their hair or look like someone who’d peddle you narcotics. So the whole ‘strut like a peacock’ thing is not new, but Mr Dubai really took the cake.

For one thing, I have no idea where the hell the venue was. If you’re holding something as ‘glam’ as Mr Dubai, surely you’d like a better venue than BUR DUBAI? My loins went into overdrive when I heard that the most handsome men would be participating in this contest, but after looking at the lineup I snapped on my chastity belt (sorry guys). I also like how it was stressed that ‘there will be no swimsuit round’ – sweet mother of jesus what kind of a shallow crotch-staring person do you take me for? And honey if you’ve got 20 men on stage dancing together and they’re NOT taking off their clothes, you’re doing something wrong.

Decide for yourself – photos can be found here (via 7Days) and a write up here (via Gulf News)